4 New Year’s Resolutions You Can Actually Stick To
Glide into 2019 with intention, grace and hope.
Every woman wants to reflect on the year gone by and feel accomplished, fulfilled and proud. But all too often we fall short of our yearly goals and rush to redeem ourselves with an ineffective annual ritual. Overly ambitious New Year's resolutions have a tenuous track record and are usually abandoned by the end of January. But fear not. There is HOPE!
Gone are the years when you recklessly promised your future self a smaller waist line, bigger bank account, gym membership or chocolate-free existence. No more galloping into the new year looking back at the vices, failures and flaws you want to quit, correct and overcome. It's time to glide into the new you with intention, grace and hope. From here on out, you can choose to look forward and commit to a new way of being- to live a life filled with joy, dedication, progress, growth and fun.
A Better Me in 2019
1. Deep Listening
Listening is more than waiting to speak. And most arguments with your partner or children escalate into shouting matches or dissolve into silent treatment because one or neither of you feels heard. Active, deep listening is truly receiving the message and emotions of your loved ones and responding with empathy and understanding. A good way to convey active listening is to confirm the message sent has been received by repeating what they are trying to say back to them in your own words. They will appreciate your intention to understand their experience and respect their feelings.
2. Practice Patience
We've all prayed for patience. In the thick of it we close our eyes, take a breath, and ask for an even hand and even temper. But patience isn't something you ask for. It's something you practice. Having more patience doesn't mean hoping for less trying situations. It means experiencing setbacks, conflicts and irrational circumstances and seeing yourself to the other side in a way you can be proud of.
What is patience to you? What does someone who is patient do and not do? How do they act? How do they think? Consider these attributes before an irritating incident. Be prepared with a plan, and enact it when the time arrives.
3. Practice What You Preach
Marriage and parenting are not just titles; they are verbs that require action. Much of what effective parents and spouses do is actually teaching. Most parents are familiar with the mainstay, “Do as I say, not as I do.” But this old adage is sadly ineffectual and ultimately loses out to the Golden Rule: “Treat others how you want to be treated.” This goes for your peer, family and romantic relationships, as well as your children.
You can't expect behavior and consideration from your spouse that you refuse to give them yourself. And you shouldn't expect your children to heed your instruction and ignore your example. You are a role model to everyone in your life. They will learn best by watching your live demonstration.
4. Tell Your Truth
Honesty is usually the best policy. But how you tell your truth can be just as important as what you say. When it comes to children, you can and should discuss sensitive subjects both appropriately and honestly. Most parents think they can keep secrets from their kids or gain their trust back after lying. But these are decisions that can haunt you.
Concerning your spouse and the rest of your family and friends, your truth deserves to be heard. But so does theirs. It’s important to respect and accept the feelings, opinions and perspectives of others. Understand we all have our own truth, and reality is somewhere in between. But your truth starts within. You must be completely honest and naked with yourself before you can speak your truth to another. That means heightening your self-awareness, acknowledging your flaws and biases, and working with the subjectivity of your experiences. To the best of your ability, speak honestly, and you will have nothing to regret.
Whether you ring in the New Year surrounded by friends, family or strangers, you can shift your intentions to a new life and a new outlook. Ask yourself what you can improve on in the New Year. Be committed to a better you. These day-to-day, small, but not insignificant adjustments will move you forward.