Summer Self Love
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”
Being in a swimsuit for the majority of the summer can do one of two things to you:
1. It can make you constantly measure your worth against the toned abs and perfect butt sitting next to you.
2. It can make you realize how incredible, beautiful and diverse the human body is and, instead, appreciate every scar, bump, dimple and pound you carry.
I don’t know about you, but I am going with option number two. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are not flawed; you’re flawless!
Are you wasting precious moments and memories this summer with your children or friends? Delaying your own happiness or confidence? Something tells me that we all are. We have to wake up and say, “Today, I will clothe myself in confidence.”
It’s really hard growing up female. Outside of criticism from the media and your peers, you have to deal with your inner self. Full of self-doubt, emotions and hormones — it’s hard to get out of your own head. And, of course, when you do get out of your own head, you have the outside world telling you to think differently.
I get it. I’ve been there. Everyone has been there or is currently there. You are not alone.
And this is where my first tip of summer self-love comes in:
Fake it till you make it. If you tell yourself enough times that you’re ugly, you’ll believe it. Tell yourself the opposite. Find what works for you. Go to the mirror and tell yourself that you’re beautiful every day (whether you’re on board with the thoughts or not), and wait for it to become your reality.
Accept the things you cannot change, and do something about the things you can. Find what makes you sad, and fix it. Did your boyfriend make hurtful comments about your body? Talk to him about it (or leave him because you don’t need that in your life)! Reading mean comments about yourself online? Stop going to that page! Don’t like the jiggle in your arm? Hit the gym! Someone online making you feel unworthy? Unfollow them! For most problems, there is a solution. Just find out what your problems are, and list ways to alleviate them.
Find the things you love about yourself and think about them often. Maybe you hate your knees, but you love your eyes. Thinking about your knees makes you self-conscious and sad, but thinking about your eyes makes you feel happy and beautiful. Focus on the good. Train yourself so that every time you find something you don’t like, and you get fixated on it, switch to something that you love! Fall in love with yourself!
If you’re going to compare, only compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Compare yourself to the future you. How sick would it be to have the exact body you have now in 40 years? I would kill for my high school body! Likewise, I know my mom-bod in 20 years would love to look the way I do now. People don’t think about themselves in the future enough. They compare their body to someone else’s unique body, but you can’t compare apples to oranges. So, why not compare yourself to yourself?
Be nice to yourself and love yourself before you love anyone else. There is no one more important in the world than you, so be nice! Take it easy. Have fun. Laugh a lot. Don’t get caught up on the things that don’t matter two years from now. L-O-V-E yourself (even when you don’t). If you don’t have the unconditional love from yourself, who else can fill that void for you? No one can.
If you could write one reminder on your mirror to read daily, what would it be?