Self-Care Is Not Selfish You are worth your time.


Care for others by caring for yourself this new year.

One of the biggest struggles I hear about from women who decide to invest in self-care is the fear of selfishness or vanity. Women think that being in survival mode is totally acceptable because, after all, they chose to be mothers.

We are the only developed country in the world that doesn’t offer moms paid parental leave. Working women are expected to work as if they have no children and parent as if they have no job. And stay-at-home moms “just stay home,” so why bother getting ready, right?

Ultimately, we’re striving for a balance that we’ll never achieve with our current model of self-care. Society places a huge emphasis on productivity and busyness as virtues. Women actually think that running themselves ragged will win them the title of a “good mom” or a “good wife.” But busyness is not always a good thing.  

To show up as our best selves for both our families and our jobs, we have to make proactive choices to care for ourselves daily. In order to create long lasting self-care habits, you must believe that you are worth your time and energy. That means no more yucky guilt.

Ladies, “You are not your own; you were bought at a price...” (1 Corinth. 6:19-20).  Your self-care goals aren’t selfish, and here’s why:

1. Making yourself a priority is pleasing to God.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says this: “Didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works.”

We are daughters of the King. He dwells in us. When we treat our bodies poorly, we’re disrespecting His creation.

2. Self-care is great for you, but it’s also great for your marriage, kids and job.

Feeling good about our appearance can make a huge difference in the way we act, speak and behave. After working as a hair and makeup artist for over a decade, I saw the massive transformations that occurred once someone’s hair and makeup was done. It was significant. Every single client left my chair walking taller, speaking with more confidence and wanting to engage with life more, all because they felt better about themselves.

Studies show that our brains are programmed to act in a manner consistent with our dress. So if we stay in yoga pants and a top knot, our brain thinks it doesn’t need to try as hard. But when we put on a proper outfit and get ourselves ready, our brain kicks into gear and understands that it’s time to accomplish our goals.

As you usher in the New Year with a new set of self-care goals, don’t be afraid to be proud of them. Self-care is not selfishness. Remember that when we don’t take care of ourselves, we unconsciously set an example for how everyone else can treat us.

So raise the bar, make yourself a priority and know that all those small changes to our daily habits will create massive change long-term. If we all stand together and make self-care a priority, we can collectively impact the way society values women and mothers everywhere.

Jaime McLaughlin is a hair and makeup expert and founder of the Beauty Guide Collections & The Mac House. You can check out more of her work here: