Focus on Your Well-Being, Not a Number on the Scale


I have a dear friend in my life whom I have the pleasure of seeing about twice a year. She’s approximately 35 years my senior and has been a mentor to me in the areas of faith, prayer, marriage, grace, and integrity. She’s an amazing woman, and I’m blessed to call her my friend.

Year after year, whenever we get together, I always begin the conversation with “How are you doing? How have you been?” and her response is always the same: “Chile, I’m trying to get this weight off.” I always chuckle at this reply because she’s gracefully beautiful and in great shape. I soon realized that she, with all her awesomeness, has fallen into the same groove as many other women: We stress about our weight without cause.

Worrying so much about your weight affects other areas in your life; in particular, it dampens your intimate relationships, both intellectually and physically. Turn up the heat on your relationships this summer by deciding to remove stressing about weight from your plate—it will lighten your load in a number of ways.

Imagine, if you will, a world with no scales and no dress sizes. All of your clothes are custom-made, and the true measure of beauty is based on your blood pressure, AC1 levels, cholesterol, flexibility, heart rate, kidney function, skin and hair condition, emotional/mental outlook, and other factors along the same lines. In that world, your focus would be solely on your self-care. Beauty and self-image goals would stem from overall health instead of social events and the desire to impress others. Your diet and nutrition choices would be results of how food affects your wellness and not the effect on your wardrobe.

Self-care is a key component of intimate relationships. Women who value themselves enough to care for their bodies and emotions are more open to others caring for them at the same levels (or greater). In other words, when you take good care of yourself physically and emotionally, you expect your closest friends to care for you in the same way. When they do, you grow closer (intimacy). When they don’t, you move on (standards). Learning to shift your focus from your weight to your overall wellbeing and care will lead to deeper relationships.

Spark more fire in your relationships this summer by learning to identify what’s best for you—physically, emotionally, and socially. Begin by shifting your focus from the scale and dress sizes to your overall wellness. Ask yourself the following question every day: “What do I need today to be healthy and happy?” Give yourself permission to pursue those requirements, and continue your pursuit until your daily wellness needs are met.

This renewed focus on taking care of you will spill over into your social life and cause you to deepen your relationships with the people you care about most. You’ll become comfortable with being deeply loved by yourself and by others, and the constant stress you feel about your weight will end.

Study questions

How much of your emotional highs and low stem from how you feel about yourself?

How much time do you spend focusing on what’s wrong with you (such as your weight, income, friendships, etc.) instead of what’s great about you?

How do you handle stress?

Make a list of the top 10 things that cause you stress. Can you find verses in Scripture that minister to those issues?

How can you apply these verses to your life?