Strong Women Strengthen Women
Why is it that our first thought as women is to compete with one another? It has become a nasty natural instinct to compare our worth, beauty, and value to that of our sisters. We have been molded to believe that there is scarcity in these areas, meaning that if good goes to one, there won’t be enough for another.
However, here’s something to think about: How can there be scarcity when we are all individually unique and authentic? You can’t run out of your own qualities because they are designed for you and only you!
It seems so simplistic and ridiculous that competition has become the natural state of feminine culture for so long, doesn’t it? But in the moment, this isn’t easy to recognize because we have a dominant creature living inside of us called “ego.”
Ego likes attention, praise, and instant success. Ego has a challenging time seeing the world through a lens of diversity and individuality; ego constantly wants what it doesn’t yet have.
When ego becomes empowered, it lacks the ability to problem-solve and achieve what it desires in a different way than another person achieved that same desire. Instead, it taps on that green colored door inside us—jealousy. In the house of jealousy, we have insecurity and comparison traps all over the place.
So, how can you tame your innate ego to ignite empowerment for yourself while watching others reach the top and succeed? How can you influence feminine culture to do the same?
Here are some ideas on how to manage your subconscious impulsivity and instead cheer for your sisters.
Let yourself feel.
Being self-aware is an essential life skill that will help you to stay in control of your reactions. If you are always hiding from how you truly feel, your reactions will mimic that and come across as inauthentic. The more you realize feelings that make you uncomfortable and address them within yourself, the more power you are giving back to yourself. Being aware and content with the feelings you encounter is imperative to becoming stronger.
For example, say your friend lands that promotion she’s been working so hard for, while you are still waiting for your moment to come (even though you hustle just as hard). Listening to her happiness and excitement for that next level can sometimes initially trigger a sense of jealousy. In that moment, I challenge you to not react quickly, as jealousy can often be impulsive and you may regret what you say and how you say it. Instead, I want you to fully listen, take a breath, and check-in to see how you are feeling.
Then, flip the script. See yourself in your friend. One day, that will be you. And when it is, how would you want your news to be received? You love her and want to see her succeed, right? So, thrive off of her energy and excitement, put yourself in her shoes, and don’t stress that you aren’t wearing them today. After mindfully processing the situation, genuinely express your enthusiasm for her. This will defuse all the power from ego and put that incredible energy into the house of strength within you.
When you work with a team you are less likely to be struck with jealousy pangs. As a society, we tend to believe that achieving on our own is the best route to take. But is it? As mentioned above, we all possess many different qualities. When we work as a team and collaborate, we can bring all these diverse qualities to the forefront, leaving everyone feeling a sense of contribution, empowerment, and value. Collaborating brings an immense amount of creativity to the surface and puts competition to the side, as you want to see your team succeed regardless of your role within that success. So gather your girlfriends and start one powerful project together!
Sounds silly, but take the time every day to look yourself in the eyes and tell yourself what you love about you. Write those qualities on post-its and put them everywhere you see throughout the day. This will remind you that you do, in fact, have a lot to offer this world and that you can recognize it within yourself. The more you can recognize your own attributes, the more confidently you can appreciate those of your sisters. It’s when we don’t remind ourselves how much power we possess and what we are capable of that we become incredibly insecure and tap into the power houses of those around us. We try to steal from others what we feel we ourselves are lacking, but there’s no need to steal what we already have. Don’t allow yourself to get drowned out by ego, instead empower your self-confidence.
If you see a sister who is struggling, write her a post-it note detailing one of her radiant qualities. Remember—we are all in this together.
Strong women strengthen women!
Founder of The Passion Warrior Project, Christi Pratte is a multi-passionate lifestyle blogger and advocate for women who are looking to find more self-love and purpose within their hustle. Facebook: The Passion Warrior Project Instagram: @christipratte