It's Over: Forgiving Yourself for Past Mistakes


Every piece of your past has formed you into the woman you are today, and there’s no use living in regret of moments you cannot relive. Do you ever wish that you could go back and change a certain situation? Are you having a hard time forgiving yourself for a decision that you made in your past? Well, you are not alone. Everyone, at some point, has made regrettable blunders that she wishes could miraculously be erased from her history. If you have not had an unfortunate experience yet, just keep living—one is likely to occur.

Do not afford your past mistakes the power to hold you hostage. You are more than what you have been through. In fact, if you allow the process to run its course, you will be made whole and better because of what you've been through. It's cliché to say, “Everything happens for a reason,” but it is true. Experience is an unbiased teacher. She is not concerned with demographics, vitals, status, race, income, etc. She is only focused on teaching her lesson. You cannot take what has happened to you personally. It is a class. In order to move forward to the next level or graduate, it is mandatory that you successfully pass the course.

You have to allow your wounds to heal properly. Your scars are a part of your strength. They are subtle reminders of your victory. You have endurance. Do not remain captive to your past. You cannot change what happened 10 years, 10 days or even 10 minutes ago. It happened; it is over. You must acknowledge the circumstances, glean the lesson and leave the teacher behind. The growth from your experience will set the trajectory that will propel you into your future.

No matter what you have done, you can be forgiven. The most challenging aspect is that you must forgive yourself. Forgiveness is therapeutic—it empowers an individual to be receptive to love, acceptance, restoration and internal happiness. Dr. Iyanla Vanzant, who recently published a new book called Forgiveness: 21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everything, encourages others with the idea that forgiveness is healing and will provide individual improvement within a person’s mind and heart.

When you embrace who you were and recognize the person you are evolving into, you must acknowledge that you cannot separate the two women. Your past persona and your current being are both vital to your existence. You have to embody a strong sense of self and formulate a level of transparency in order to cultivate authentic intentions that will serve as preparations for your future possibilities. You have endured and conquered your past. You have survived because there is promise and purpose for your life. You were being stretched, but you did not break. You are much stronger than you believe.