Stop Feeling Some Type of Way
(and other ambiguous emotions)
You’re a grown woman and therefore have rights to do some amazing things. You can make as much money as you like. You can boldly speak your mind and opinion. You can be single or married without apology or explanation. You can freely worship and live a spirit-filled life. You can change your hair, gain weight, or lose weight without anyone’s permission. The list goes on and on, but there’s one right in particular I’d like highlight: your right to have great emotional health. As you prepare to have an amazing 2018, I challenge you to make your emotional health a priority. Here’s how you can get started.
- Give yourself permission to have emotions. – Contrary to societal commentary; a woman with emotions is not a synonym for weak or the B word. God had a good reason for giving you emotions. Not using or learning from them is a huge personal mistake. Give yourself permission to be a woman who feels.
- Validate your emotions by clearly identifying how you feel. - Your emotions have value and deserve clear identifiers and labels. Say you’re mad if you’re mad. Say you’re happy if you’re happy. There are hundreds of words to describe emotions and I encourage you to get comfortable using those words with definitive boldness. State how you really feel instead of saying “I’m okay” or “I’m feeling some kind of way”.
- Take time to understand why. – Knowing how you feel is good but knowing WHY you feel it is better. Train yourself to analyze why you’re experiencing an emotion and if it’s rooted in fairness (as you define it). In other words, does your emotional state match the level of the trigger that caused the emotion?
- Chronicle your pattern of emotional triggers. - Dedicate a journal (or electronic note or app) to recording your emotional triggers. Identify what or who triggered your joy/excitement, or what or who ticked you off. If you are diligent with this activity, you’ll begin to see and learn from your patterns.
- Be responsible for your emotions and any behavior that follows. – You have the right to feel how you feel, however, you must take responsibility for the behaviors that follow. Being free to feel does not mean being free to act unseemly. Seek professional help if you have a hard time controlling your emotions or emotional behavior.
Emotions are an asset to every area of your life and good emotional health is as valuable as good physical health. I challenge you to put your emotions at the top of your priority list for this year and years to come.
(Photo credit: Unsplash Quentin Keller)