The Self-Aware Woman


Prolonged exposure to loud, busy environments drains me. They totally wipe me out. This used to bother me because I observed so many A-type, go-getter personalities (people I really admired) thriving in the very environments and situations that exhaust me. I would think to myself, “What’s wrong with me? I like people, and I have just as much to offer as the next person. So why can’t I seem to get it together?” Huge social settings made me feel like the odd-woman-out before I had even said my first “Hello” or gave that first shallow hug. For me, and for many other women, something was off.

I knew I didn’t have an issue with self-esteem. I’d always felt good about myself and had aligned my opinions about me with the Bible. God said I am fantabulous, and I believe it. So what was the problem? Although I felt great about the me that I knew, there was an important aspect of my personality that I neglected to acknowledge and nurture. I thrive in quiet, well- organized environments. My issue with loud environments had nothing to do with other people and everything to do with me. A lack of self-awareness can and often will cause women to blame others for their lack of peace. Do you know you?

Take out a pen and paper (or your electronic device) and write down the top five things that cause you to thrive and the top five things that hinder your progress. Before you begin, let me give you the rule for this activity: Every single item on your list must be about you and you alone, those things that only you can control. You cannot mention or allude to other people. When I do this activity with women who attend my emotional wellness workshops, they are excited and ready to go, until I share the rule. Women who lack self-awareness are conditioned to attribute their successes, failures and emotional wellness to the events and people around them. In essence, true self-awareness comes with the realization that you (under the leadership of God) are in control of your happiness and success and (this is the exciting part), you have the right to unapologetically define what happiness and success is for you. Self-awareness is about knowing who you are, what you need, what you do or do not like, and accepting your right to pursue happiness and success.

I am a self-aware woman, so I know that if I want to thrive at big social events, I need to schedule a few minutes of quiet time before I go. And that's okay. Self-awareness has put me in the driver’s seat of my life. Are you ready to take the wheel of your life and drive toward happiness and success? If you’re already on that road, keep going and don’t stop. But if you’re not, I encourage you to start today!