Can I Just Have Your Attention, Please?


Every chance I get, I remind people just how much I believe in love. Being a month shy of twenty-six years old, unmarried, with no children and a series of spoiled relationships under my belt, people often wonder how I can be so optimistic about a future filled with love and happiness with that special someone. Sometimes such belief makes me look foolish, like perhaps I still believe in the tooth fairy or Santa Claus. What I have found out is that while waiting for the right one to come along, depending on your personality, we all have reached the point of resignation. It is at that point that we all decide to take fate into our own hands and just be free of the worry that often consumes us regarding when our man will take the big step or just where our dream man is, period. This freedom often comes at a price that we simply cannot afford. Sometimes it is our pride, dignity, self-esteem, respect or appearance that often feels the blow of decisions we make as a result of trying not to care.

Millions of viewers have watched Mimi season after season on Love and Hip Hop Atlanta get her feelings walked over while trying to remain hopeful of a decent co-parenting relationship with her child's father, the infamous Stevie J. Despite your personal feelings toward the televised love triangle, the truth is that sometimes, although we see our situation for the horror story that it is, we often believe that we can close our eyes, take a deep breath and it will miraculously be right again. When that doesn't happen, we take other measures to simply help us let it go.

I even reached the point about a year ago where I asked myself, "What is the one thing that is separating me from the love that I truly want, need and deserve?" Having asked myself that question and finding that the answer is my pride, I began to work diligently to shed myself of the negative trait that was holding me hostage to myself. The truth really hurts, but it proves time and time again to be exactly what we need in life to press forward and become better.

The biggest misconception that I believe most women make is that receiving any attention is good attention from men. Steve Harvey, comedian, actor, radio personality and most recently, relationship expert speaks a word to all women that should help us make better decisions while waiting for the one.

Harvey speaks in regards to the Mimi Faust sex tape: "And this thing that y’all sitting on, this thing that every man got to have—your body, that precious jewel that’s in the most hidden place on your body. Think about that." Hearing the words of Mr. Harvey reminds me that although love's rollercoaster gets wild and out of control, we are in fact in control. For that reason, keep on believing in love and realize that all attention isn't good attention. Find that issue that separates you from true love, work on it and prepare for the king that seeks to find you!