Don’t Silence Your Resilience

Tools on how to recover from life’s difficulties
Tools on how to recover from life’s difficulties

Today’s world is filled with so many tragedies, travesties, disasters, and death. One may often find herself wondering how to go on or how to get through it all. Everyone has their own personal wars and storms. If you are not careful, they will absolutely destroy you. Starting over and moving on with life is an arduous task. While some people may get stuck, others are resilient. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines resilience as, “ the ability to become strong, healthy or successful again after something bad happens; the ability of something to return to its original shape after it has been pulled, stretched, pressed, bent, etc.” Life can stretch, twist and fold you in every way you don’t want to go. In some cases, you may never “return to your original shape,” but you will find a new shape to be comfortable in (yes, you can apply this to baby weight). So why do some people stretch and go forward, and others break or stay stagnant?

Psychological studies have found some common characteristics in resilient people such as: optimism, self-confidence, supportive relationships, the ability to regulate emotions and impulses, communication and problem-solving skills, and having realistic expectations of the world and self. You’re thinking, “No wonder why I haven’t recovered!” or “What else can I do since I am still struggling?”

Here are some ways to build resilience:

Network and socialize. I don’t mean just on social media. Close, personal, trusting and loving relationships, in and outside of your family, are key factors in building resiliency. You were not made to do it on your own. Having people that can help you, advise you, and model a good example for you can propel you forward out of your troubles.

Avoid catastrophic thinking. Even when you’re in pain, keep your hope alive and keep things in perspective. Envision your long-term goal and develop a response proportionate to the problem.

Acceptance is an Ace. Being able to accept change, limitations and losses will give you a starting point from which to grow. You can’t move forward if you are not aware that you have something from which to move on.

Develop your self-esteem. Tune in to you. Find things you enjoy. Invest and believe in yourself, and believe that you will survive whatever strife may come your way.

Be decisive and move toward your goals. When adversity hits, you hit back. Don’t waste time hiding and hoping it will go away. Make a plan with decisive thoughtful actions, and begin working on it, one small accomplishment at a time.

Stretch your limits. Be flexible. Travel the world. Step outside your comfort zone. Volunteer to help those in need. Do those things you’ve been afraid to do. When you stretch yourself, you get a broader perspective of the world and a deeper appreciation for the things that you have. This will soften the blow when hard times hit.

Overall, recovering and rebuilding your life is all about utilizing the tools and resources you have available to you. Women are built to endure, so don’t silence your resilience. It is already in you; you just have to give her a voice.