Open Marriages

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Marriage is a beautiful, life-changing event. Most people, at the very least, consider the idea of marrying. Newlyweds seem to glow in bliss without a care in the world, while others smile in support of their union. Sounds a lot like a fairy tale doesn’t it? In reality, most people spend more time planning their wedding instead of investing in their marriage. For decades, couples have struggled to hold their marriages together and have tried different avenues to simply coexist. As a result of failed attempts of trying to save a marriage, some couples have considered having an open marriage. This entitles the couple to explore other romantic interest, acting upon urges that would otherwise be suppressed in a traditional marriage. This arrangement has become more and more common in today’s world and you’ll find countless articles regarding this matter. When couples agree to explore open marriage as an option to finding happiness, I’m afraid that the consequences have been obviously ignored.

An open marriage is a solution to marital issues for some couples, or so they hope. However, it actually poses as a distraction to avoid confronting the issues that are present within the marriage. Adding a more complex dynamic to a marriage is likely to creator further division and an emotional detachment altogether. This is a failure to totally commit to “the good and the bad, for better or worse.” Choosing to entertain other love interest outside of a marriage is a sure sign of more confusion and disaster waiting to happen. No matter how casual seeing someone other than your spouse may appear, strings are definitely attached and feelings will one day surface. It’s only a matter of time before someone gets seriously hurt.

The consequences of having an open marriage include the following: • Sexual transmitted diseases • Conceiving children outside of the marriage • Emotional abuse to the children • Creating more marital problems than before • Love triangle • Embarrassment • Financial problems • Comprehending that your spouse is being intimate with other people • Becoming sexually, emotionally and physically insecure

Marriage symbolizes commitment, whereas in an open marriage, you are no longer committing entirely to each other. It may not be in your best interest to get involved into another relationship with someone if you’re struggling with the one you currently have. I challenge couples to consider the vows that were made to each other and find a healthy solution to repairing the marriage, not ways to replace it. Marriage counseling is a great way to start building the healthy marriage that one desires. Explore the things that made you fall in love with your spouse initially. Learn to date your spouse again and explore new interests together. Instead of becoming open to other individuals, open up to your spouse. Learn to become their friend, share your goals, and allow them to discover your hidden treasure. Have an open mind and be open to challenging your marriage to grow. If the goal is to sexually spice up the marriage, don’t be afraid to explore new things together. Marriage is wonderful when you learn to become happy with yourself instead of trying to find that happiness within your marriage in the first place. Marriage cannot make you happy. In fact, you cannot find it anywhere. Anything else will only be temporary. Love yourself, find happiness within you, and then you’ll be on your way to discovering a whole new marriage.

Photo by Micheile Henderson on Unsplash