The Love Factor in Marriage

The unity of marriage is built upon a firm foundation of trust and working together
The unity of marriage is built upon a firm foundation of trust and working together

Marriage is a union that not only unites two people in love, but also helps them both grow as individuals and build upon their character. Society encourages women to be independent. Society tells a woman she doesn’t need to ask anyone’s permission to achieve the things she wants in life. There is some truth to this--until we enter marriage. A successful marriage is built on a shared vision, not what one person perceives as right. The focus is now on “we” instead of “me.” When we carry independence into our marriages, there can be a power struggle of egos, which can eventually tear a beautiful union apart. However, walking in love and respect for each other’s opinions and vision allows the purpose of the marriage to be celebrated and the union to properly flourish.

When you’re single, you make your own decisions in every aspect of life. You are the captain of your ship—the boss lady and the queen of your kingdom. You don’t always comprehend how you would be able to trust anyone to make the right decisions for your life alongside you. One wise thing that will help you in your marriage is to find an accountable mentor—someone who has been married long enough and can support you and offer you advice and encouragement. God can teach you a tremendous amount through the experiences of others, whether it’s how to stay organized or creating an atmosphere that your husband will love to come home to. Include your husband in every decision you make, no matter how big or small it is. He, in return, will love the fact that you respect him enough to ask for his input. This process can help you learn to obtain a teachable spirit and to take direction that is different from your own.

If you are waiting on God for a life partner, ask a friend who is married to mentor you on being a wise wife. You will be surprised how much you can learn from a married woman who has already walked through the season you are facing. It would also be helpful for your spouse or your future life partner to have a mentor. When a man is accountable to someone or is mentored, it will give you an indication of his future. If your spouse is able to follow, he will be able to lead and take direction. In marriage, both husband and wife need to be accountable to one another first, and then to people whom they can trust and those who counsel them. There is safety in the multitude of wise counselors.

The word of God instructs wives to submit to their husbands and instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. In both commands, we have to demonstrate sacrificial, humble, and loving spirits. Love will make us ask for each other’s opinions on family decisions without arguing who is right or wrong. It will also lead us to respect and understand each other’s purposes in life.

We need love in all aspects of our relationships, especially in our marriages. It will keep our partnerships flourishing and moving from glory to glory, even in the toughest of times.