When It’s Time to Quit
As the day of love approaches, take time out from your busy schedule to celebrate Valentine’s Day with the one you love. Rekindle love and passion, and celebrate your union. However, this season does not always have the same nostalgic effect for every couple. What if you are at the stage of your relationship where you are between a rock and a hard place and feel in your heart it is over, but you are too scared to take the move? How can you tell when it’s time to cut the noose and walk away from a five-, 10-, or 20-year relationship? It is a scary step to make when you have built so much together. However, you should never stay in an unhealthy relationship to please anyone, especially if it is detrimental to your safety. Here are five signs that it’s time to walk away from your relationship.
1. The two of you are completely disconnected. All relationships go through periods when you feel loved and unloved. If you are in a place where your own confidence and personality are being challenged and you no longer have a sense of who you are, it might be time to call it quits or take some time to find out who you are. Steven Stosny, PhD, states in Psychology Today that, “emotional disconnection is the biggest single factor in most divorces.”
2. There is no movement to commit to future goals. If you are in a relationship where your partner is stuck in a rut and has no plans of progressing in life—such as maintain a job, provide support, or act on important decisions that may affect your relationship (or family)—it might be worth you flying solo.
3. You constantly argue or debate. Having frequent arguments with your boyfriend or spouse with no resolution or understanding only creates resentment, anger and bitterness. It causes continuous contention between the two of you, and you can slowly slip into becoming enemies.
4. Sticks and stones will break your bones. Mental abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse because your brain carries your emotions, which are linked to your soul. If your soul is damaged, you are unable to live a healthy life. According to the University of Michigan Health System, “Dealing with emotional abuse over a long period of time can have physical effects such as neck and back pain, and even pain in the extremities.”
5. You have been deceived and cannot regain trust. Deception in a relationship can be a make or break situation, especially if it’s around infidelity. If you decide to forgive him, you also must forget his misdemeanour and work through the cause of it. If you are not in that place of forgiveness, and your spouse is continuing to exhibit this behaviour, for your own sake, you need to get out of that situation. When trust is broken in a relationship, it is like broken glass: it is hard to mend. When you try to pick up the pieces, you are always scared that it will hurt you.
Whatever stage you are at in your relationship, if it is time to walk away, you have to be honest with yourself and take that step. You only have one life to live. If you are in an unhealthy relationship where your petals are continually crushed and you have exhausted every avenue to mend your heart, you need to plant yourself in new soil where you can grow—learning to appreciate you and love yourself again.
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