Switch It Up


One of my favorite movies of all times is the hit 90s movie, “Waiting to Exhale”. Whenever men hear me say this, they automatically assume that the movie bashes men and because I love it, in some form or fashion, I will soon reveal my male-bashing opinions. That could not be any more incorrect. What I love the most about the movie is Bernadine’s character, played by award-winning actress Angela Bassett. After being hit with the news that her husband is leaving her for his secretary, she reacts understandably with rage and hurt, making the ultimate decision to burn his car that is holding all of his clothing, jewelry and shoes. It is, however, when she is ready to move forward with her life that she cuts her long, thick hair against her best friend’s advice.

It amazes me how a change in one’s appearance can reflect the changes going on internally. I love to see a woman with a fresh new hairstyle, a stylish new bag, a bold red lipstick, or just something new that tells the world, “No matter how old I am, I am yet evolving.” Things happen in our lives that provoke change. Although change is greatly feared, it is the one thing that should be embraced. Courage and freedom is birthed through change.

In relationships, there is that pivotal point when change occurs. He stops checking in as often. You stop running to the phone when you hear his ringtone. Whereas the changes hold potential to be detrimental, it is necessary as routine can become the death of any relationship. In those moments where the chemistry of your relationship may be dwindling, it is time to re-adjust and turn up the heat. Perhaps new dating spots or even something as simple as changing your wording in text messages could help as long as every now and then, we switch things up a bit.

Maybe you are not involved in a relationship, but sometimes looking in the mirror even becomes routine. Life becomes routine. Nothing is fun anymore. Every day is the same. Turn up the heat. Change your hair, buy a new dress, or change your nail polish color.

I live by one creed: The only thing constant in the world is change. The evolution of our womanhood relies heavily on change. The growth of our relationships depends on how well two individuals change together. Change can be exciting if you will look beyond the fear and see that a fun, better person is on the other side of it all.

I often think about Bernadine during the movie. At the beginning of the movie, she was distraught and depressed after being left by her husband. As she reflects upon her relationship, she realizes she sacrificed her true desires to be married and was not nearly as happy as she could have been. Being divorced shoved her into a change that she may have never embraced beforehand. With a spicy new haircut, I believed it gave her the renewed confidence to embrace the changes that her life presented.

By all means, do not go putting scissors to your head just to add some spice to life. The advice here is to embrace those things that cause you fear because they are only there to bring a much needed change in your life. Changes add seasoning and flavor to your life. Don’t be bland, darling.