The Secret to Being Successfully Single


You sit comfortably on your couch next to the window as it ushers in the aroma of raindrops. You feel the spring breeze as it saturates your skin. The words to your favorite love song play softly in the background and you smile because you think of your man while Chrisette Michele croons to A Couple of Forevers. You decide to send him a text telling him how much you miss him, asking if he can drop by so he can share this spring love moment with you. Ten or so minutes go by and you realize that there is no response. You text him again, this time sending only question marks. After another ten minutes, there is still no response. You decide to call. But the phone goes to voicemail. You opt not to leave a message and simply hang up the phone. Less than a second later, he texts, “With the Wifey.” Desperation is a word that is often loathed by those whom it best describes. Being desperate implies a sense of hopelessness for any given situation at a given time. Sadly, many women are desperate for a man. Every woman wants companionship. Sometimes, that desire is so strong that minimum qualifications, such as honesty and loyalty, in a relationship become voided.

Due to social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter, seemingly happy relationships are shoved down our throats and if we’re annoyed by it, we are considered to be a hater. So rather than publicly hate or “throw shade,” we hope endlessly for the day when we can shove our own “happy” relationship down the throats of other miserable singles. With this mind, we sometimes find ourselves settling. Settling for the married man, the man with the girlfriend, the man who refuses to work. Desperation can even reflect financial difficulties as women may date or sleep with someone for their own economic gain. We do this all in hopes of attaining the highly sought after companionship.

Being the desperate woman often involves tremendous rejection--waiting on him to call after he has finished spending time with the one he really loves, or calling and texting his phone non-stop with hopes of any kind of attention, even if it only sparks discontentment for both parties. It is rejection that ultimately awakens the desperation to do whatever it takes to have someone at your side, even if it means not truly being happy.

Happiness is simply too much to risk. Rather than being desperate for a relationship, why not enjoy being single and become happy and secure in who you are? Find glory in the woman you will become. Vow to see death before looking in the mirror and coming face to face with a beautiful mess of desperation.