Finding Balance

It’s the B word that so many women struggle with – balance. For me, it was once a losing battle. Back when I first started Hope, my daughter and sons were quite young – Chantel, 12; Jaylen, 10; and Jordan, 2. I thought it would be fairly easy to juggle my family and the demands of running my own magazine, but boy was I wrong. It was a real challenge – one where I didn’t initially experience success.

You’re simultaneously passionate about your family and your dream, and you have every intention to stay focused on what’s most important – family – but sometimes you lose balance and steer too far to the left. That’s what happened with me.

I was giving so much to building the vision God gave me, and trying to be there for everyone else around me, that I rarely had anything left to give to my family. By the end of my work days, I was too physically and mentally worn out to interact with my children the way they deserved. Before I knew it, my daughter was off to college and my oldest son was in high school. I still get choked up thinking about all of the time I let slip, time I could have spent creating lifelong memories with them. Though I didn’t totally neglect them and push their need for my attention and affection completely aside, in my heart I know that there’s so much more I could have given them.

When Chantel first went off to college, I remember wishing I could go back to those days of dressing her in poofy dresses and pigtails (She doesn’t think so!). I sometimes feel like I missed a chunk of her life because of my inability to find that perfect balance between work and family. I now look forward to holiday visits and summer vacation so that we can have loads of mommy-daughter time and bond. Now that my oldest son is preparing for his senior year in high school and see my baby boy growing into a little man, I wonder where the time went.

But I don’t dwell in the past for long. That time is gone, and there’s nothing I can do to regain it. What I can do, however, is make the best of the time I have now. Although my children had to involuntarily sacrifice their mommy-time, they are, and have always been, my number one fans.

These days, though I still give Hope everything I have, I am intentional about giving my family more. I’ve learned many lessons over the past 8 years, and one is when to pull away and plug into those that I love and cherish most. I’m as passionate as ever about the magazine, but I’m even more fervent about my family knowing that they are my top priority and the truest passion of my heart.

As career and purpose-driven women with families, finding balance can definitely be a struggle. That is why it is imperative to pray daily for God’s grace and wisdom. You can certainly give your all to pursuing your dreams, but not so much that you are too depleted to give that same energy to loving on your family. That’s one lesson I’m grateful to have learned.

Angie