Have you ever operated in a moment of discomfort; one that had been brought on by yourself? The kind of moment where you would give anything to catch the words that are flying out of your mouth and reel them back in, sling them on the ground and stomp them out of existence. Maybe the words you were speaking were TRUE but the tone in which you delivered them were strikingly offensive. Like nails on a chalkboard, the tone gets increasingly more piercing the longer the nails slide down the board.
Recently I found myself in the thick of this scenario! What makes it even worse, is that it involved a family member!
Can I just say, “Ouch!”
A conversation that was intended to bring correction to a miscommunication ended up in truth being spoken out of ANGER! As I was being approached with the conversation I knew I wasn’t in a good place to receive what was being said nor was I capable of speaking truth into the situation with a “loving” spirit.
Clue #1: NEVER, EVER, NEVER have a conversation that has opposing opinions when your spirit is not in the right place! You will accomplish harm instead of accomplishing good!
A further escalation occurred when other family members chimed in. In their attempt to make peace, defenses and tempers continued to flair above the multitude of opinions!
Can I just say, “UGLY!”
Ugly it got and ugly my spirit felt. I am not sharing this tainted moment with you because I’m proud of it! In fact, I am only sharing because I learned a valuable lesson. One that I hope doesn’t occur again!
We will NEVER accomplish greater good, in ANY situation, if it isn’t spoken in a spirit of love. I’m am certain that’s why God speaks about LOVE repeatedly in scripture…. He knew this would be hard! When our flesh gets good and revved up, without guarding our hearts we can spew venom that would reach two states away!
When He said, “Guard your heart for it is the WELLSPRING of life! Words give LIFE and they also give DEATH! Do EVERYTHING out of a spirit of LOVE, Because the greatest is LOVE!” (paraphrase mine)
You know as well as I do, that words do HURT! And somewhere along your path of life, you have been hurt by words and you have hurt with words! As much as we despise it and as hard as it is to admit; when our guard is down, our flesh has the ability to spew venom and receive venom!
Clue#2 Hanging onto bitterness and resentment will never move you forward. Playing the victim role will only delay the process of restoration!
My situation ended with repentance and forgiveness, but my words and the spirit in which I delivered them cannot be taken back! When God’s love is involved, there is no room to play the victim’s role nor is there time to hold onto bitterness and resentment.
Repent->Forgive->Restore->Redeem
LOVE always wins even when HURT is freshly lingering in your soul!
“Let all that you do be done in love.” (1 Corinthians 16:14, ESV)
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May I, just say, "Ouch," with you?
Very well said! I admire your strength to write about this!!