Love a Bit Harder: Some Tough Love Advice for Your Relationship
Photo by Zexy Zw.com from Pexels
You mustn’t be afraid to love a bit more, darling. Yes, you.
How long can you continue having one foot in and one foot out in your relationships? Is it healthy what you are doing? Does it help you grow? And most importantly, are you happy with yourself?
Are you satisfied with the answers you have just told yourself? If so, you don’t need to hear this. If not, let’s talk a bit more.
First, let’s talk about why you have one foot in and one foot out. This habit can be classifies as philophobia. I’m only guessing here, but it could be one of the following reasons:
Insecurity
Fear of missing out from all the other dating options
Unhealed trauma from past relationships
Protection from self-sabotaging
Lack of emotional maturity
And so on…
Whatever the reason, it probably involves the fear of love. And I want you to know that is entirely okay. Love is a powerful emotion and being afraid of it makes sense. What is not okay is continuing to be afraid of love to your own detriment and that of your partner.
Since you are still reading this article, I’m assuming you are interested in changing your current habit of having one foot in and one foot out for the better. For that to happen, let’s investigate the benefits of loving a bit harder:
Growth
People always talk about the “post-breakup glow”, but what about the “we are in love glow”? When you love harder, you are allowing yourself to be emotionally vulnerable. And as much hurt that comes with emotional vulnerability, there is also immense growth.
No Regrets
Yes, you can break up today, and you will probably be fine. But if you look back 10 years from now, would you be happy knowing that you possibly ruined a fairy tale love story because of your fear of love? Probably not. One thing I have learned from watching older people’s videos on YouTube (yes) is that to live a life with no regrets is the best version of life you can get in this world.
Now, we have talked about the benefits of loving a bit harder. Let’s look at the ways you can love a bit harder:
Understand your partner’s love language
Take the time to understand your partner’s love language and actively love them in this language.
Be open with your partner about your struggles of committing
By being honest with your partner, you give them the gift of honesty and the respect they deserve. Tell them the truth and clarify that you are ready to have both feet in. Vulnerability draws people in rather than pushes them away; always remember that.
Be Patient
Be patient with your partner. Be patient with the relationship. And most importantly, be patient with yourself. The change you want to create in your relationship will take some time.
You mustn’t be afraid to love a bit more, darling.
Nathaniel Konga is a social impact and marketing enthusiast who has collaborated with nonprofits such MicroLoan, Mind and Wonder Girls. He loves talking about his experience and life journey with the aim to make others feel better about their struggles. Follow him on Instagram @goodpeople_dobetter to see his latest work.
