Turning an End into a New Beginning
Every time we end a relationship, the word closure comes to our mind. But, what is closure? Do we need closure for our own happiness? Is it really necessary to tie up loose ends to move on in our life? A broken heart is always left with unsolved questions, where one part of us is constantly looking for answers. We need that closure from our ex, that one final conversation which will explain the key questions — what happened? how can be it mended back again? why it didn’t work out between us? However, the act of one final conversation is always believed to tie that perfect bow to an ending relationship by leaving no disputes behind.
If we flip the script on where exactly the closure comes from, we will be able to happily move on and find answers to our unresolved questions. We don’t need anyone’s permission to begin a new chapter with fresh memories in our life. Closure comes from us — not them. We create it because closure is us.
Learn to replace the word closure with peace. Just like peace is created within us and our healthy environment, closure is part of us that doesn’t need to fit the missing puzzle in our life anymore. Fill yourself with peace, love and happiness. It is imperative to accept that life is going to be filled with unfinished endings, workplace disputes, wounded feelings and stories with no conclusion. If we continue to tie loose ends by spending our time, effort and energy solving the puzzle to our unaddressed emotions, then we will always be left frustrated and exhausted. It’s only we who can make peace with our past, and accept that whatever happened, happened for a reason.
Monica Jackman, a counsellor and a life coach with Neuroscience says, “Remind yourself that your worth as a person has not changed because a relationship has ended. Letting go makes space for something new to come into your life. Whatever is right for you will come to you in time.”
Develop a one-day mindset. How powerful is a one-day mindset? It’s the positive thought and belief that one day I will understand why this happened. Instead of jumping to conclusions and tagging yourself with words like unsuccessful, unlovable and unworthy. It is important to believe there are more interesting chapters ahead in my life. One day, it will make sense why it happened and what it taught me. While in this process, believe that conclusion is not the end to everything but looking ahead to chapters 15, 20 or maybe 30 in life, it could be at the beginning of a new page or in the middle.
Therapy helps us. Sometimes, if we are stuck in a loop where we can’t take the memories of the person out of our minds, it is time to seek help. Psychologists can train and teach you to break thoughts in a strategic manner which is also called cognitive behavioral therapy. We love to share our feelings with family and friends, however, we find ourselves at the other end of the bargain where anger, depression and grief still want long-term support. Just like acknowledging our feelings is crucial, so is the healing process with the help of strong emotional comfort.
Rashi Agarwal is a freelance journalist who has worked with Daily Express and LBC in the past. She loves to write about lifestyle, relationships, home, family, food and many other beats. You can follow her on Twitter @Rashi_2208
