Finding Fault
Posted by Rebecca Marchbanks on March 9th, 2011 in Blog, Family, Marriage, Relationships | 9 Comments
“Are you a fault finder?” Our pastor asked that question last Sunday during our church service and I’ve been dwelling on it all week. He referenced Matthew 7:3-5:
Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is a log in your own eye. You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” ESV
Being in student ministry we see a lot of teenagers and their families come through our home and through the revolving door of my husband’s office. We never know what type of life issue or family situation will crop up from one day to the next. There are some days when it would be easy to look at those students (and families) and see the speck, but you know, for some reason it’s not so hard to look past their “stuff” and to see the person that God loves and created for His purpose. So to be honest, I was feeling pretty good about myself and the fact that I was so non-judgmental and loving…
But isn’t that when the Holy Spirit starts to do His amazing and mysterious work? When pride has started to sneak in and we are losing sight of the Truth.
He shines the light of His word onto the dark spots of our hearts.
As I sat at my kitchen table, pride slowly starting to rear its ugly head, I heard His still small voice whisper to my spirit:
But what about your family? What about your children - your husband? Are you loving them or are you constantly finding fault with the things they do or say?
He knows our true thoughts, doesn’t He? Sometimes it cuts to the quick…
And I realized that what I had been so prideful about a few moments before was really my weakness. Yes, it was easy for me to not find fault with our students. But my family? Now, that’s another story.
I see the students as our ministry, something that God has called us to do as a couple, so it just naturally flows (in my mind anyway) that I need to be loving and understanding. But what I sometimes forget is that God has called me to another ministry - my marriage and He called me to this ministry first. Do love, understanding, and patience always flow from my mouth when it comes to my husband? *sigh* No.
But isn’t it wonderful how He teaches us? How, when we are wandering from the path the Shepherd brings us back into the fold. And you know what? There is no fault finding with Him. Just grace…only grace.
Can I encourage you my friends? Will you pray and ask Him to search your heart and examine whether or not you are a fault finder?
And let Him wipe the slate clean.
“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23 NIV
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Fault is a heavy weight and a big burden to wear. Many things lay heavy and weigh us down. I took a turn for the better with my walk in Christ last year. I prepared myself for something I never thought I could do. At first I wanted to blame or lay fault about the particular situation, but God was dealiing with me in all aspects of my life. I took about 6 months off work and went to Tennessee to be with my family. Sharing my life, my health, and other things with my caring, loving sister. She helped me, we prayed together, and shared our views of what the bible was saying and how God was interpretating it to us. Our walk in Christ is different from person to person, but he carries us and our burdens the same. What I learned was even through her tough times, although they were different from mine, there was still a bit of it that helped me walk a little straighter. I told her about a secret that I have kept from my family for over 18 years. I wanted to lay blame on my reasons for not telling them of this vital secret and wanted to blame them and make them at fault because when I was a child they never wanted to listen to what I had to say. But God worked that out on me. I didn’t tell my parents this secret right away, because I had to work out the weight of my wanting to fault them or lay blame on them, still thinking in my mind; would they listen? Would they understand? and many other questions lay await in my mind. But, God let me know that all this time that he was always with me, I just had to believe it all in my heart. We all know that God is with us, but when it comes to things we have to address on the human side, we forget were God is. I’ve leanred to have God with me at all times, and as I learned to pray, talk, walk, and give my entire all to him, the fact that I had to do this seemed easy. So, I presented the facts of the situation to my parents, and then told them of the secret that I had, had for 18 years. We prayed together and the weight was over. All that had been weighing me down for so many years was finally lifted. I’ve learned not to find fault in others, we are all his children. We all fall short and we are all accountible for what we do. We’re not the judge, God is. We are to love one another as Christ loved us and as God loved us so much to send his son Jesus Christ. To die on a cross and bare our burdens, our faults, our sin, our shame, and all that we do that seems unpleasing to him. Although we should strive for perfection in the eyes of God. We are all not perfect in anyway, but the perfection in his eyes is learning from our mistakes and changing them to make ourselves better in Christ. God Bless!
He does carry our burdens, doesn’t He? -straight to the cross!
Thanks for the comment!
Rebecca - a word in due season. Right on, sister. Write on. ♥
Thanks for your reply to my comment Susan. I use the Lords guidence everyday of my life through all the situations that may come up in my life. I learned that he carries all our burdens no matter what they may be. His love and compassion for all our lives is abundant and he is always there for us. Not just for the asking, but he is beside us to lead us, walk us through life, carry us over every threshold, and fly us over every storm like an eagle. There is so much to continue to learn about Christ, and everyday I learn something new that helps me grow in him and to be like him. I’m still a pre-schooler in Christ, and will always be, I’ll never grow to be a Senior in him or graduate in the class of Christ until I get to enter into the gates of Heaven and then I’ll be a graduate of Class…….? There are levels we learn, we learn those levels to go and grow higher in our walk, but our levels are never near the same. One level, makes us grow to the next, and the next to the next. Everyday is a walk and everyday our reflection of Christ will finally manifest in the rippling waters of the pond. No one can really mirror image Christ, but we can hope, pray, believe, have faith and continue to conform that image to walk a life in him.
God Bless, Brother Ken
Thanks, Susan.
OOOOOOoooooohhhhhhh, from a former, reformed-ish fault finder, this hits the nail on the head. I used to do this very, very well (find fault) and still do, on any given day, if I’m not watching. But thanks be to God for His unspeakable gift! The miracle of a cleansed heart.
Thank You, Holy Spirit, for that painful mirror that you sometimes turn on me. It allows me to see, so that I can submit to You, for cleansing, healing, and strength. And then, I can BREATHE, and the joy is back. Thank You, Sweet Teacher. I love You!
And thank you, sweet Becca, for this post. Great stuff! I like Susan’s words: “Write on!”
And your new profile picture is super-good.
Can you tell I’m catching up on blogs?