I have been loving this short series I’ve done on being intentional in marriage. Today I’m going to share the third, and, last for the sake of this series, way to be intentional in marriage.
Here’s a recap of what I’ve talked about so far:
We Must Be Intentional With Our Focus
In May, I shared the first way and foundational place to start, we must be intentional in our focus:
“We cannot achieve a happy joyful marriage on our own strength and ability. We must be focused on glorifying God in our marriage. That is what makes the difference.”
We Must Be Intentional With Our Words
Last month, I shared about the power of our words:
“My words have the power to give life! Or death… That is a huge responsibility! And I cannot tell you how many times I take that responsibility lightly, when talking with my husband, as well as when talking about my husband.”
This month, I’ll be sharing the third way to be intentional in marriage:
We Must Be Intentional With Our Actions
Let’s think about this…
What do our current actions say about our marriage and our attitude towards our marriage and husband?
Are we on the computer* more than we are with our husband?
*You can change this for anything that you may be putting before your husband.
My husband once said ‘that it seemed like my blog was more important than him’. Whew! That was hard to hear…But, it made me realize that he thought that because I was spending more time on the computer doing things related to my blog than I was spending time with him. And, worst, I was sacrificing spending time with him to spend time working on my blog…
Like I said, it was hard to hear, very hard to hear. But, I am so glad that he said it! It helped open my eyes and I truly realized that my actions speak so much louder than my words!
My husband is more important than blogging, and I want him to know that! So, that means I need to keep my priorities in check!
Are we investing in our marriage by spending time together?
I say investing because spending time with our husbands will always yield a return! The question is, are we investing regularly? Are we scheduling time to spend together?
I remembering reading The Love List and loving the practical habits that are suggested in the book to cultivate love in a marriage. It really is all about being intentional!
I personally love “dating” my husband. I love planning to go out together and enjoying one anothers company. So, this is easy for me. But, if spending quality time doesn’t come naturally…then it is definitely worth working on! Especially, if this is your husband’s love language.
Are we doing things to make our husband’s life easier?
These are things that we know will bless him. Like tonight, I came home from work and saw my husband’s pile of work stuff laying out for him for the morning. His shirt was wrinkled and the iron was setting next to it.
From the looks of it, it seemed that he was going to get up and iron his shirt before going to work in the morning. I went ahead and ironed it for him. This will make his morning easier and maybe help start his day on a positive note knowing that I thought of him.
It’s the little things like that that can make a big difference!
Are we watching our thoughts and attitude?
I know that this one isn’t really an action…but it can affect our actions! Do we think about our husband?
During the day, do we think loving pleasant thoughts about our husband? Or do we let our mind wander on things he isn’t doing or things we would like him to do…
The way you think of your husband will affect your actions and attitude towards him! Our minds can make something so small into something large and change our attitude and actions in a mere second! Let’s keep it under control!
Do we desire to spend time with our husband…intimately?
This one is so important. Does you husband know that you desire him? That you want to be with him intimately? Is he the only one who initiates your time spent together?
This can really have a BIG impact in your marriage. If your husband knows that you don’t want him, or are thinking about five others things you could be doing, or just “marking” something off your to-do list…I’m afraid you are putting him at risk!
I recently asked a close friend, who is a pastor, what are some things I can do to be a good help to my husband (Who is a future pastor). He responded, “I’ve got one thing for you. Have sex with your husband. And enjoy it! What is one thing plaguing our pastors today? Sexual immorality. You see it everywhere. You want to help your husband and his ministry? Then desire him and spend time together intimately, and often!”
I would have to agree with him wholeheartedly. And honestly, that goes for every wife, not just ministry wives.
So, how are your actions?
Do you have some things you want to change or do better? Commit to doing them today! And then reap the benefits in your marriage!
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