From Victim to Victor
Statistics show that one in three girls experience sexual abuse before the age of 18. While that is quite alarming, it rings very true for me. Between the ages of four and eight, I was molested at the hands of male relatives. Though they were eventually exposed and the abuse came to an end, the scars from that experience followed me well into my adult life.
For years, I never truly dealt with the pain or reality of what I went through as a child. I’d been taught that once I gave my life to Christ, I was a new creature, old things were passed away, and all things were made new (2 Corinthians 5:17). Though I definitely believe in scripture and the power of Jesus Christ, the fact remained that although I’d been spiritually made anew, emotionally I still carried old baggage.
Instead of dealing with what happened, I suppressed it. For many years, I had low self-esteem and felt like a failure.
When I first started Hope, I had no idea just how much my past would affect my judgment when it came to the people that I allowed into my professional life. I didn’t notice it then, but I always seemed to somehow attract takers. Because I felt so unworthy of anything good, especially running a magazine, I’d hire people who said they would help me, but only ended up taking advantage of me-just like my offenders had done when I was a little girl.
When you’re violated, when someone takes something from you against your will, it takes a piece of you away. As a learned behavior, I realized that I was subconsciously giving others power over my life. Though I didn’t wear a sign that said, “You can take advantage of me,” my lack of confidence left me prey for many vultures.
Through lots of prayer, soul-searching, and professional counseling, I found the strength to take my life back. I discovered the courage to overcome the pain and emotional damage that tried to kill my hope.
Today, I am a new creature, both spiritually and emotionally. The remnants of my past no longer cloud my judgment, and I steer clear of takers. By the grace of God, I’ve grown from that little girl whose power was taken away into a woman who owns her God-given power. The victim in me has passed away; the victor in me has been renewed. And Hope is getting better every day because of it.
Enjoying Hope,
Angie
Kenyari
April 16, 2013 at 12:17 pm
Great article!
Angie
April 16, 2013 at 1:55 pm
Thanks so much ladies!
Rebecca Johnson
April 16, 2013 at 12:43 pm
What an encouraging and powerful blog post. Thank you for sharing this Angelia!
Angie
April 16, 2013 at 2:49 pm
Thanks Rebecca! It’s been a journey but I’m grateful each and every day!
Maria
April 16, 2013 at 2:26 pm
Totally in tears after reading this! Thank you for being so transparent about your journey.
Angie
April 16, 2013 at 2:54 pm
Thanks Maria! You’re going to make me cry…thanks for being on this journey with me.
Shan
April 16, 2013 at 8:26 pm
Amazing! Such a gift, talent, beauty, and power! So grateful for your testimony! You don’t look like what you’ve been through and don’t smell like the flames of your furnace !
Angie
April 18, 2013 at 1:27 pm
LOVE this!!!
Karlyn
April 17, 2013 at 3:08 pm
Hello Angie …. Good for you in being courageous in sharing your story. I too experienced abuse but I too am free and their shame is NOT mine but theirs. May God’s grace richly be yours as you minister through HOPE. I’m proud of you, my Sister-in-Christ.
Angie
April 18, 2013 at 1:26 pm
Thank you so much Karlyn! So glad we’re FREE!