In Over My Head

When I first started out with Hope, I knew it would necessitate a lot of hard work, and I was ready to give it all I had. What I wasn’t prepared for, however, is the load of money I’d have to pour out. Though it was a tall order, Hope was my baby and there was no way I could neglect its needs. With determination in my heart to bring the vision to life, I did whatever I needed to do to make sure it remained alive.

Sadly, I can’t testify that I always made the wisest financial decisions. There were times when I overstaffed and overpaid the Hope team, which ended up putting more weight on my already strained checkbook. Even though I knew I was a bit in over my head and accruing a mountain of debt, I couldn’t just pull away and let my dream die.

With Hope’s bills and personal monetary obligations piling up, it came down to investing my family’s money and taking out a second mortgage on our home just to try to stay afloat. It still wasn’t enough. Sometimes, I couldn’t afford to put gas in my car or pay my $50 phone bill. I remember praying that my phone wouldn’t get disconnected until the weekend so I wouldn’t miss calls from advertisers. Yep, it was that bad.

I was in debt-serious debt. So much so that it led to the b word – bankruptcy. I felt so ashamed at times, owing people money and not being able to clear my debt with them. On-lookers would often judge me and wonder how a woman of faith pursuing a vision that supposedly came from God could be in such a financial mess. But you know what? Although I was hurting inside, I had some crazy faith. In my heart of hearts, I was confident in the vision I know the Lord gave me.

Yes, my finances were a mess and my personal life was experiencing its ramifications, but I still couldn’t give up. I had to do the very thing I was inspiring other women to do – have hope. I owned my faults, made the necessary changes in my decision-making, and pruned my staff, and I’m now on a steady path to financial restoration.

Has it been an easy journey? Not one bit. But what journey is? Definitely not the one that leads to true success. It crushed me to have to go this route, but God is building a new, wiser Angie and a new, debt-free Hope. He is making all things brand new.

Nothing can keep a determined woman or a God-vision down.

Enjoying Hope,

Angie