Empty Nest, Now What?
If you’re a parent you might be familiar with a saying about roots and wings, and the importance of giving your children both. Roots remind them they have a place to belong, while wings allow them to set off and explore that great big world out there. With college starting back up, maybe you’ve gently nudged your not-so-little ones out of the nest recently. The house is suddenly less vibrant, less chaotic, there’s no parent-teacher conferences or practices to rush to and significantly less laundry, so now what?
Give it time
It’s normal to feel a sense of loss after letting your babies go. “Empty nest syndrome isn’t a clinical diagnosis,” states Jessica Sosso, M.D., rather, “it’s a phenomenon in which parents experience feelings of sadness and loss when the last child leaves home.” With any type of loss, allow yourself to process varying emotions, recognize the changes around you and how they’re affecting you. Time can be one of the most beneficial factors in healing; just take it one day at a time.
Stay connected
When your job as a parent suddenly becomes part-time you may struggle with not feeling as needed as you once were. Here’s a helpful reminder: your child will always need you! Your role may be shifting and your hours may have been docked, but as a parent you’ll never be fully off the clock. Seek out ways to stay connected with your kids. You may discover a new-found love for FaceTime or Zoom. Keep asking them about school or work; see if they’ve made any new friends, or found a new favorite show to watch. Most likely they’re apprehensive about navigating life without you too, so continue to be the mentor, voice of reason and shoulder to cry on that you’ve always been. Consistently interacting (not hovering) will make this transition easier for you both.
Rediscover you
Many parents tend to wrap so much of their identity around their parental duties, it’s easy to lose that sense of self. As an empty nester, now is the perfect time to do whatever it is you’ve been putting off for the last 18 or so years. Pick up a new hobby, try new restaurants, pick up something to read, or see if there’s some place you’d like to volunteer or help out at. Planning long vacations without your kids may seem hard at first, so start out with a shorter weekend getaway. Your kids are out there beginning their new lives so try not to feel guilty about moving forward with yours. Filling your time can help bring a new sense of purpose to your life.
Empty nest syndrome can be challenging. Please remember every parent will tackle this phase in their own way and it’s okay to ask for help when it seems too hard to manage alone. You’ve done an amazing job nurturing your little one through the years and giving them all they need to make it in the adult world. Cry all those tears, pore through all those old baby pictures and be proud of what you did, who they’ve become and watch how far they’ll fly.
Laura Tuzzio is a freelance writer who enjoys books, travel, good music, and spending time with her family.
