Don’t Say No

Posted by Shari Biediger on May 3rd, 2010 in Blog | 1 Comment

My friend Kathy has a task list a mile long, all keyed into a spreadsheet that she reviews at least daily. Going to work, however, isn’t anywhere on the list. She was laid off last fall.

Yet, she sees more people, learns more things, and does more new stuff in one day than anyone I know. Simply because she just says “yes.” Like that Snow Patrol song, she just says yes to every invitation, every opportunity. Everything that’s happening, she’s there. If I want to meet her for lunch, better book early. It’s part of her very effective job-search strategy. And I like it.

Because it goes against the advice I hear so often given to busy women: Learn to say “no.” Here’s why I almost never do:

• You might not get asked again.
• Who knows where it will lead.
• There’s always a way.

The truth, the way and the life!

God wants us to say “yes,” to opening our hearts to unknown possibilities. When we say no to an invitation, a request, an assignment, we close our hearts to God’s plan for us. When we say “no” because we think we don’t have the time, the energy, the money, the interest, or we are afraid, we are not putting our trust in God.

Maya Angelou has spoken about the time she said “yes”:

‘After I wrote a poem for President Clinton, the UN asked me to write and deliver one. I try to say yes to any good thing - quickly.’

So let’s say your task list is as long as my friend’s and you just don’t know how you can make another meeting; or work the concession stand again, or help out your neighbor. I’ve been there, and there is a breaking point.

At the neighborhood pool last week, a friend told me that she quit the swim team board. She didn’t think they needed her any longer. And, actually, she was right. Those first two years, she was desperately needed as we created and built the program; now, not so much, so she’s free to travel home and see her family for the summer, and do the billions of other things she does every day. It all worked out.

I get away with my “yes strategy” by knowing where my priorities are, and making sure the biggest slice of my time on the pie chart goes there. I’m also a big believer in working smart, finding a way and asking for help! The rest falls into place. My plan is never to be forced to make a bucket list. When the end comes, I will know that I have seized the day every chance I got.

“The will of God will never take you where the grace of God won’t protect you.”

Postscript: The day after I put the finishing touches on this blog entry, I was sitting in the pew waiting for Mass to begin (after having arrived early to deliver my homemade baked goods and set up a booth for our church festival that afternoon), when the Sacristan approached and asked if I would do the readings and announcements. The scheduled lector had not shown up. I thanked God for this test of my convictions, and said, “yes.”