Hope for Your Marriage
~The Marriage Bedroom: Den of Love?

Posted by Kennisha Hill on December 29th, 2010 in Blog | 1 Comment

There is nothing like having a place where at the end of the day, you can finally enjoy intimate and quiet time with your husband. And, what better place for this to be than you and your husband’s bedroom. Not only is it a place where you enjoy incredible nights of romance and sexual intimacy. It’s also a place where you get to talk, laugh, and just hold one another in your own private space…or, is it? What exactly should the marriage bedroom look like?

I recently had an interesting conversation with my younger sister, who is married. She called asking my opinion about her and her husband’s bedroom. She began to share with me her style and taste and what theme she was going for. Quite honestly, as she continued talking, the only thing that constantly rang in my mind was how this is such an intimate thing that she should discuss with her husband only. And even after she shared with me all of her plans, I later shared with her how she should talk to him about him. She said, “Girl, he don’t care. You know men.” I laughed. But then I realized that some people really do view the marriage bedroom very differently. Some call it a den of love and others allow it to become another family hang out room.

A question to ask is does it really matter what the bedroom is or becomes over the coarse of years? While it’s really your prerogative about what you decide is right for your marriage, here are a few things to consider:

Privacy evokes more intimacy

Keeping the marriage bedroom a private place really evokes secrecy, intimacy and a healthy balance between everything else in the world and your marriage. It’s speaks loudly saying warning everything else that it’s not allowed inside. Things like work, paying bills, arguments should not be allowed, if you’re really looking for some good one-on-one with your husband. Don’t bring those stressful things inside the bedroom. Your secret place should be where you release the stress of your day with one another in whatever way works best.

Family fun welcomed but not always invited

I grew up in a house where my parent’s openly let us come in their bedroom, take naps there, watch movies and hang out. After a while, it became another hang out living area. Although we never thought, “How gross,” because they are our parents, we simply enjoyed our time there. Although family fun always presents a great time, unity and a closeness with your family, the marriage bedroom is probably not the place where it should always be invited. Some couples might fear you’d get too comfortable in there or find something, like a piece of lingerie, that should have been hidden.

If you’re not the type who likes exotic things in your room and enjoys family time everywhere, maybe having guest over doesn’t matter. But, if you’re interested in keeping your bedroom private, here are a few things you can do.

1. Make it clear that this room is off limits. Some people may want to take a peak at what’s inside, but quite honestly, that’s none of their business. You might be like my sister and want a wild scene in there. (Don’t judge. Everyone has different taste ) But whatever your taste is, it should be private and kept between you and your husband.

2. Get rid of distractions. Some people don’t allow a TV or computer inside because it can causes a distraction from that real intimate conversations. It’s a good idea to watch movies and get online outside of the bedroom. Show your husband that you are more interested in him.

3. Set the mood and keep it fresh. Some like a wild scene displayed to keep them in that hot mood, while others have a much softer taste. The beauty of marriage is that you can design your room to your liking- no matter what it is. Keep it clean, smelling good and inviting for you and your husband. The right atmosphere will always encourage greater intimacy.

What about you? Is your marriage bedroom another family room or is it a den of love?